I wrote this poem in the car ride home for James.

 

Sometimes I wonder
When my heart beats like thunder
How can one love, be so strong
For one boy?

Who has taken apart my world,
Like puzzle pieces, love letter creases
And put everything where it belongs
Writed all the wrongs
Seen my tears and eased my fears
I can't be coy
I love that one boy

Sometimes I sunder
When my heart feels under
How can one love
Make me scream
Make me shout
Make me smile
For one boy

They always tell me the same thing
Over and over
Shut it up
I'm tired, I'm wired
My body's shaking
My heart's been aching

 

Just turn it down a notch
Don't forget to turn off the lights
Leave the pain and the fights
If you leave the trouble
I can pump up the treble

 

I heart you?
It's a question not a fact
Just bring the beat back
I can't decide
How many times I've tried
To get those perfect teeth, perfect hair
Maybe it's easy to be ugly

Hold me
Keep me
It could be so easy

 

I don't get what you tell your friends
It's like the spinning never ends
I feel like my life is blur
I miss him, I miss her
Do you heart me?
It's a question not a fact
I think I'm about to have a heart attack

BOY! Give me what I want.

I'm so tall
but I feel so small
Standing next to the power you inspire
Standing next to the child I desire
I choke, I cough, I bleed, it's rough
It's too bad it gets so tough

Just to converse
what you all truly mean
What I think of your eyes
Any lies
Freedom dies
He Cries
I'm glad
I won't be sad

We deserve what we get.

So why can't I get you?
So cute and so pure
Your life is incredible
Your love is indelible
But I don't truly hold it...

 

I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.

 

Thank you Maya Angelou for heating my ice
It doesn't have to be nice
When they just can't get it
Can't read my stories
Can't grasp my love
Won't even try
But we do
We know what's true
The beautiful dreamer

Things won't ever change
A different day another range
So I'll give it you
Soaking through eyes of blue
My love, heart, soul, body, strength, is ours.

If you could love me like I love you
You'd take my hand and lead me to the dance floor
If you could love me like I love you
You'd dance with me like I was a whore

My body would spread, like strawberry jam
and as the bass pumps just a little higher
You'd feel our every desire
Hit, meet, is that the way you like it?
The way you like me
That's just the difficulty
Of dancing between the heated bodies

If you could love me like I love you
You'd always hold my hand
If you could love me like I love you
I'd lead you through this land

Of fantasy
Of Memory
Of the wintery cold
The kind you just can't hold
My body would warm your soul
And make your spirit feel full

If you could love me like I love you
You'd wrap your arms around my hips
If you could love me like I love you
You'd always follow the trace of my lips.

I am so exciting for homecoming on October 7th, our theme is "Do You Believe in Magic?". I don't know how great it will really be, but I am super excited. I am going with Zack, the boy I talked about in my previous entry.

 

We're going to look super amazing and take pictures and stuff, all dressed up in our tux's. Then we're going to have an after-party at Sierra's house. Apparently our friend Arpy is crashing over there and stuff... Arpy cracks me up.

 

At lunch there's this hot ass mess of a freshman with long long LONG bushy hair. This girl said "He looks kinda like Jesus" then we busted out "He needs to find Jesus". Naw, but for real, freshman are so toxic. Like, I used to not be so poised against them, but the more interaction I have with freshman, the more I dislike them. There's a boy named Brandon, and he's really cool for a freshman. Although, if he were any grade higher, I don't think I would think him to be so cool.

 

After 6th period today Zack ran out and hugged me! He hugged me yesterday too, but yesterday it was this lame little one armed thing. Today, I think we were more comfortable and it was real hug! It was so cute, I totally wanted to smell his hair . Yeah.

 

Zack and I discussed homecoming together and we're going to try and get our tux's for cheap. See, the most expensive things for us on our homecoming is the limo and the tux. Once we use our plan for the tux, then that leaves the limo. Maybe we won't do the limo, but we're cutting costs pretty well. There's certain things I don't want to skip out on or miss, but then there are certain things that don't really matter to me, or I think are just stupid. Like the dinner, both Zack and I agreed, especially him, that it's stupid to eat before you go to a dance! Maybe like a snack so you don't get hungry, but it's no fun to dance when you're full. Plus, there's going to be food at the after-party so we may as well just stuff our faces there.

 

Anyways... Just some stuff about it. I am excited.

So, there's this boy that I really like, his name is Zack. Shhh, don't tell James.

 

But for real, so last night Zack picked me up over at this place called GameBreakerz which is like an arcade but WAAAY cooler. Yeah so we chopped it up in the car and we went and picked up Sierra and then went to Target, and then we went and rented When a Stranger Calls, and then we went to Top Foods and then we went to Zack's house for a little while.

 

Zack was so cute and he showed me all his dances! And he totally tried to feel up my hands and stuff... I wish I had been more reciprocating of him, I think if I made as many advances as he did, a whole lot more would have happened. Like, I told him that when he doesn't spark conversation with me sometimes that I feel like he doesn't really want to talk to me, and he told me that he doesn't talk so much because he's used to his friends basically saying that whatever he said was dumb, and he doesn't want me to think he's dumb. It was adorable.

 

Let's get some shoes. Can I borrow that top?

 

Then at Sierra's when we were watching the movie. Him and I layed under this blanket together and like, we ate ice cream out of a carton and it was mucho atractiva. He's so caliente! ANYWAYS. I hope to talk to him soon...

 

Kay, thanks for listening.

Appetizer
Measured in minutes or hours, how much exercise have you had in the last week?

I can't personally say for sure, I mean I know that I truly excercise plenty in my daily life with walking and dancing and other school activities. But I usually set aside 15-30 minutes every day where I really work out and it makes all the difference. So not including today, I excercised an hour and a half.

 

Soup
If you had to change your blog title to something else, what would it be?

Sexii Blog Effinhot.

 

Salad
Name one television show you watched when you were 9-12 years old.

Power Rangers! Gosh I adore them! Not the funky new ones, but the really cool originals. I liked those Dino Rangers though, the chick who wanted to be a singer when she got her song remixed in techno, that track was hot and her outfit was cheetalicious.

 

Main Course
If someone gave you $50 to spend with the one condition that it had to be educational, what would you purchase?

I would buy the new Final Fantasy XII video game coming out.

 

Dessert
Do you tend to prefer dark colors, neutral shades, or lighter/pastel hues?

Truth is, I have no real preference on colors. I like to have a vast variety and I love all shades tones, color, whatever. In my closet though, I suppose you'd find mostly blues and dark colors. A few reds. Minimal pastels.

 

____________________________

 

The questions and stuff were knicked from this fabulous blog that I found through BlogExplosion. Write From Karen.

So, check this out. My new school gives us lap tops to use in class. How cool is that? They're not funky ghetto ones either, they're like little relatively nice fairly new ones that are so usable. I love it. I'm sitting here posting this blog from my English class as we speak.

 

Anyways, there's this boy named Zac who is a cheerleader at KMHS and he's a total cutie. I really hope he asks me out to homecoming. Last night I found out from my grandma that I have money saved up in my bank account from when I was working, and while it isn't alot, it would cover my homecoming costs.

 

I was thinking about doing cheer, but on second thought it might not be great for me because I am not as athletic as some of the other people, and after checking out all the regulations and requirements, it seems like a really big deal to become a cheerleader. One of the things that kind of threw me off is that they require a cheerleader to have five reccomendations from teachers. At RHS that'd be no problem, but I don't kno anybody here.

How do you make my lips quiver?
How do you make my body shake?
How do you make my breath shiver?
Why do you make my heart ache?

Take me
and
Break me
The way I've wanted all along
Just kiss my lips to lead me to the end of this song.
Hold me and Control me
When no one else can see
I'll bring you down and you'll come back up
Like it was your destiny

Why do you make my lips quiver?
Why do you make my body quake?
Why do you make my breath shiver?
How do you make my heart ache?

Try me
Don't Deny me
The words I want to whisper in your ear
Are the same words that make me fear
Rejection from something I never really had
How can anything be quite this bad?
But if you knew
What would you do?

Why do you make dreams skip a beat?
Why do you make my heart cry out?
Why do you send chills from my head to my feet?
How do you make my bottom lip pout?

Why do I hide
All these things I feel inside
I think it's about time I tried

Find me
Grind me
Against your bed
I can't get these thoughts
Feelings
Urges
Out of my head

How do you make dreams quiver?
How do you make my heart ache?
How do you make my feelings shiver ?
Why do you make my bottom lip shake?

I'm waiting for the knight
Who will lend me his shield to fight
Tonight I won't hide my feelings for you
On the waves of the dreams that choked me blue
Red
Blood pulsing to my head
Shatters the unethical movements I make
I just want to shake

This haunting dream

I was prophesized
Among milky sighs
Black nights
Far sights
Among twisted fallen hearts that were not always like this
That were not always
Always

Able to shake this haunting dream
Able to brake this haunting seam
That belongs to the threads of time
and the burnings of a rhyme

Always

 wrote this poem in the car ride home for James.

 

Sometimes I wonder
When my heart beats like thunder
How can one love, be so strong
For one boy?

Who has taken apart my world,
Like puzzle pieces, love letter creases
And put everything where it belongs
Writed all the wrongs
Seen my tears and eased my fears
I can't be coy
I love that one boy

Sometimes I sunder
When my heart feels under
How can one love
Make me scream
Make me shout
Make me smile
For one boy

Yeah, so I had the bestest time out last night with Mandi and Leanne. It was Mandi's sweet 16 and we went to a bowling alley. It totally wasn't like a bowling alley though. We had to pay a $15 cover charge, thanks for springing for me Jill, and then once we were in there was basically unlimited bowling. But we didn't bowl. There were shiny disco balls, laser lights, and big screens where they played music video. We all danced in the fog and there were even some people with Rave gear. I danced alot. Mandi and I had this silly thizzface dance, it was funny. It rocked. So yeah, funnest party ever.

I feel like I'm losing weight. I was like 196lbs, which is about 10 lbs too many for me. Last time I checked on Thursday I had lost 5lbs in a week from working out, so hopefully this week that will continue on. I think dancing last night made a huge difference. I'm "dieting" but it's more in a portion control type way. Yeah, I am now 191.

Break Me Off

You make me wanna go down
down
down
To depths I've never been before

You make me want to rise
rise
rise
Just to feel that hint of surprise

To gasp for air
Run my hands through your hair
Sensual lips
Mental ecstacy trips
I break
You take
Every ounce of that soft liquidy
Chocalate lovin'

Flavored with the hate, the demise
The ocean blue eyes
Sapphire droplets of acidic energy

It takes too much
To block out that touch
The things I feel
The emotions to real
The dreams, the pain
My soul, the rain

Drown me.

Break me off
Let's dance
Get you out of those pants
Shake it boy
Don't brake it boy
You know what I've got
You want what I need
Don't overthrow it with those lusts of greed

Lust
The kind that makes you choke and cough
When you realize, I can break you off